Mid-Life Martini Makeover, Day 4: Competing with the Young and the Beautiful

by hans peter meyer

"How do you do it?" my friend asked after she'd picked me up after Bartending 101 class at fineartbartending.ca.

"Do what?"

"You know," she said, smiling, "Once again, finding yourself in places where you're surrounded by beautiful young women."

It's true, fineartbartending.ca has put me into a room full of – as my friend put it – "beautiful young women." (Most of whom are closer to my daughters' age than my age, so out-of-bounds for this guy.) Nevertheless, it's one of the attractions of doing this kind of thing: the people who seem to master it – from my experience of sitting at bars and ordering drinks – are confident and outgoing types. Not all of them are women, but lots are. I guess I got lucky with this class?

That little exchange happened late last night, at the end of Day 3 of Bartending 101 at fineartbartending.ca in downtown Vancouver. We'd just been handed the list of "basic" vodka drinks that every self-respecting b-tender needs to know inside out. With the list of basic whisky (and whiskey) drinks on Day 1, the gin list from Day 2, our group of 4 girls + 1 guy were now expected to respond confidently and quickly to orders for about 45 drinks. I left the class feeling like my brain had been doing some heavy lifting. Not a bad thing for a guy heading into his 50th birthday. Every bit of exercise keeps the body/mind/spirit toned in some way.

But this 3 day x 4 hour mental workout is also showing up in my body: this morning my shoulder, the one I injured in a wee bicycle accident that occasioned an earlier mid-life makeover when I was 38, was hurting in a way it hasn't in years. What gives?

It's the constant shaking, not stirring, that does it. Or maybe its the shaking and the stirring? Whatever. I'm using my right arm and shoulder in repetitive ways I haven't before. Who'd a thunk that a few hours of shaking and stirring would hurt. But it does. Ouch!

So, being a mature and self-caring fellow, I took the ache this morning (no aches from the practical exercises of trying different kinds of Islay Scotch in a "burnt" martini, though there's a fuzziness behind the eyeballs...) as a sign. Not that I should retire to the other side of the bar, but that I should do what I know works: dutifully get out the exercises that Physio Steve gave me years ago.

And yes, the shoulder does feel better now for having done them. Thanks for asking. Again, a little life-lesson that mid-life (and my father's sometimes bad example) reminds me of: better to do the maintenance work now, rather than risk the cost of repairs later.

Same with the mental exercise. Somehow I know that memorizing all the 50-60 drinks in this intro to the fine art of bartending is going to keep my brain young and agile. Will I be able to keep up with the veritable kids in class who're setting speed records for successfully meeting drink orders, or who've graduated to fancy pours involving pyramids of glasses and stacked shakers? (I've got some great pics, but am tech-challenged right now [my too-smartness when packing left a simple USB cable lying at home – Why would I need that USB cable, I thought. Ahhhh... hubris...] I'll find a cable hearabouts and put them together for a subsequent post. Stay tuned.)

I doubt I'll match the current class queens, Michelle and Lindsay (did I spell that right? hey, at least I remember the names – a good sign!). I'm hoping to at least give them a run for the money when it comes to stop-watch time. I do feel my brain expanding, loosening up, flexing itself.

Or maybe that's the leftover effect of the several after-class martini exercises? I wonder how my friend is feeling, the guy on whom I was practicing my new-found drinkology skills...

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